(To the tune of “Taking Care of Business” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive)

You boot up every morning
Get a virus warning
Then you download spam to your inbox
Outlook says you’ve got an error
And you’ve got that look of terror
You can’t send, you’ll have to use FedEx
‘Cause when the screen says no
You can’t get your mail to go
You call your local geek and start to pray
And if you think that you’re annoyed
Just wait ‘til I am deployed
I love to work at nothing all day!

And I’ll be
Taking care of Windows
Every day!
Taking care of Windows
Every way!
I’ve been taking care of Windows
Up all night!
Taking care of Windows
Formatting your hard drive,
Reboot!

When you’re installing your program
And the wizard says no ma’am
You’ve got to find your Windows CD
Now you know that you’re in Hell
There’s a missing DLL
And the disk is low on virtual memory
People say that you’re obscene
When you’re cursing at the screen
Tell them that the geek’s on his way
But it’s you that we avoid
Because we know what you’ve destroyed
You’ve gone through three computers since May!

And we be
Taking care of Windows
Every day!
Taking care of Windows
Every way!
I’ve been taking care of Windows
Up all night!
Taking care of Windows
Formatting your hard drive,
Reboot!

Take good care of your Windows
Run your update, then sit and wait
Wooo!

Now your screen has turned bright blue
And you don’t know what to do
All you did was try to open up Quake
You give the three-fingered salute
And yet still it won’t reboot
And the geek is out on his lunch break
So when the boss asks why
Your fourth hard drive is fried
You jump right up and blame Bill Gates
Maybe you should get a Mac
Before you have a heart attack
In Macintosh salvation awaits!

But we’ll be
Taking care of Windows
Every day!
Taking care of Windows
Every way!
I’ve been taking care of Windows
Up all night!
Taking care of Windows
Formatting your hard drive!

Takin’ care of Windows
Takin’ care of Windows
Takin’ care of Windows
Takin’ care of Windows
Takin’ care of Windows…

© 2009 by Stacy Clifford